Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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