I need help removing her.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
