I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize