no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
