Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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