just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
