im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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