Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
