And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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