Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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