I think my fart just growled at me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize