So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
