just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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