i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
