I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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