sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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