I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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