Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
