well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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