Swine flu. Run for my life!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
