Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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