dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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