Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize