oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
