youre lurking in front of me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just had sex bonerless
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
