I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
