He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
