Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize