Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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