I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
