I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
