I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Randomize
