I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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