The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize