I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
