We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
