Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
