I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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