do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
