U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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