So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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