my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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