This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
