is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
