HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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