I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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