Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
