so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
