Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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