it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
