I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
