I'm gonna have a badass scar
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
