I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
