i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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