I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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