..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
