It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
