I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize