yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
