what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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