i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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