i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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