I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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